I like to think of a relationship, sort of like a taut rubber band, so imagine one person holding one side and the other holding the other side. If one of you stops pulling and gives up, then its loose. If one of you pull too hard then it snaps, thus hitting the one who tried too hard. In order to keep the balance, both people must try equally and put the same amount of effort pulling… and sometimes, if you know its not working out, you need to just let go, otherwise you’re the only one getting up hurt